Pedido. The Engagement

Once upon a time, our friend, let’s call him Antonio (…because that’s actually his name), met a lovely Angolan girl, Elizabeth. A Spaniard in Angola, Antonio had one chance to continue dating her – the “pedido” aka taking the plunge. Her parents, from a fairly conservative background, required that their daughter end her dilly dallying and get engaged. After panic, frustrations, and much much love, they finally decided to give in to her parents’ request.

And so, one fine day, Luis and I get a call to represent Antonio’s family during the pedido.

The pedido is an agreement between families that sets the stage for the rest of the marriage process. In many smaller villages (and traditionally), the pedido is actually the marriage itself, so needless to say, we were all nervous for Antonio.

This is how it goes:
1) Groom-to-be (GTB) makes request to bride-to-be’s (BTB) family
2) BTB’s family sends GTB a “carta de alambamento” which lists all the items they will need in order to accept the proposal (this list includes everything from cows to whisky bottles) AND the very important “sum of money” (supposedly “symbolic”) to include in the “envelope.” That’s right, ladies and gents, a bribe.
3) BTB’s family sets the date (Antonio really tried some hard negotiating on this point…with no success)
4) GTB and BTB select family members who will be present (Antonio’s side had a myriad of 15 foreigners from Spain, Portugal, Belgium, Italy, Brazil, and France…there were some physical similarities…really)
5) Day of (Antonio panic comes back into full force) BTB’s family awaits anxiously for GTB and family to appear at their home (“home” in this case was the complex of the Spanish Cooperation)
6) We arrive. BTB’s family on one side of the room, GTB’s family on the other side…and the bargaining begins
7) The “carta de pedido,” which includes the famous “envelope,” is presented and we each introduce ourselves…some of us blabbering in a somewhat cohesive Portuguese
8) …and finally the BTB arrives (after having to pay her “taxi”…the pedido is all about how much money the BTB’s family can suck out of the GTB’s family)
9) Bargaining in full force.
10) Families come to an agreement. Ring placed on finger. Champagne bottle opened. And DJ begins.

Tada! We had to sit through an hour of this…we were all sweating but relieved. Antonio is engaged.
Doesn’t this sound a LITTLE like Jewish engagements or is just me?